queerness

labels kind of suck. that's why my favorite is queer. a) taking it back. b) umbrella term is nice and vague. I don't have to explain it, like I have to explain so many parts of my identity (my name, my job, my hobbies, my disabilities if I'm using a mobility device as a 20-something). oh, and c) I like the flag, lol. I will get into the details a bit here, since I'm going to assume that if you're here, you want to know. If I get hate emails about this I WILL laugh at you.

the specifics: demisexual panromantic. cisgender but in a way that I just love women's history and "feminine" hobbies and clothing- like most things gender is a social construct so it's also like- eh? it's a convenient categorization for me to pursue my interests. not for roles in society. as tumblr said circa... 2012? these gender roles are disgusting.

what I usually tell people:bisexual. why? ace-spectrum stuff is obnoxious to get into. aphobia is still too prevalent in all communities. even my queer dad (literally my dad) doesn't understand. so I don't get into it with like... anyone but my sister. this, and also demi is still rather obscure, though growing to be more known. it at least has its own flag. I prefer the panromantic part but this society puts more emphasis on sex for some reason. what I put out there willingly, unasked, is just QUEER.

what does it mean? demisexual means being on the ace-spectrum as you probably guessed. It generally means being only sexually attracted to people you're also romantically attracted to. For me, I don't experience much sexual attraction, from what I can tell? "hotness" is something I thought was like a synonym for "beautiful" in a conventional way until I realized people actually get like,,, I dunno horny looking at people for real? Just people around them? Like, "I would rub my bits on them?" I don't get that, except in bursts for my partner. Whoever that may be. I straight up just don't think about it most of the time. DOES NOT MEAN SEX-REPULSED. It's none of your business, random internet stranger, how often I have sex. But it's not never. I don't hate it. I like it, even. But again, none of ya business.

I find that this post explains demisexuality really well, better than I have the energy to. If you're curious.